少年维特之烦恼(英文版)-第29章

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can　you　，　be　annihilated　？　We　exist。　What　is　annihilation　？　A　mere
word，　an　unmeaning　sound　that　fixes　no　impression　on　the　mind。　Dead，
Charlotte　！　laid　in　the　cold　earth　，　in　the　dark　and　narrow　grave　！
I　had　a　friend　once　who　was　everything　to　me　in　early　youth。　She　died。
I　followed　her　hearse　；　I　stood　by　her　grave　when　the　coffin　was　lowered
；　and　when　I　heard　the　creaking　of　the　cords　as　they　were　loosened　and
drawn　up，　when　the　first　shovelful　of　earth　was　thrown　in，　and　the　coffin
returned　a　hollow　sound　，　which　grew　fainter　and　fainter　till　all　was
pletely　covered　over　，　I　threw　myself　on　the　ground　；　my　heart　was
smitten　，　grieved，　shattered，　rent　——　but　I　neither　knew　what　had
happened，　nor　what　was　to　happen　to　me。　Death！　the　grave！　I　understand
not　the　words。——　Forgive，　oh　，　forgive　me　！　Yesterday——　ah　，　that
day　should　have　been　the　last　of　my　life！　Thou　angel　！　for　the　first
time　in　my　existence，　I　felt　rapture　glow　within　my　inmost　soul。　She
loves　，　she　loves　me　！　Still　burns　upon　my　lips　the　sacred　fire　they
received　from　thine。　New　torrents　of　delight　overwhelm　my　soul。　Forgive
me，　oh　，　forgive！

　　〃I　knew　that　I　was　dear　to　you；　I　saw　it　in　your　first　entrancing
look，　knew　it　by　the　first　pressure　of　your　hand　；　but　when　I　was　absent
from　you，　when　I　saw　Albert　at　your　side　，　my　doubts　and　fears　returned。

　　〃Do　you　remember　the　flowers　you　sent　me，　when　，　at　that　crowded
assembly，　you　could　neither　speak　nor　extend　your　hand　to　me　？　Half
the　night　I　was　on　my　knees　before　those　flowers，　and　I　regarded　them
as　the　pledges　of　your　love　；　but　those　impressions　grew　fainter　，　and
were　at　length　effaced。

　　〃Everything　passes　away　；　but　a　whole　eternity　could　not　extinguish
the　living　flame　which　was　yesterday　kindled　by　your　lips　，　and　which
now　burns　within　me。　She　loves　me　！　These　arms　have　encircled　her　waist，
these　lips　have　trembled　upon　hers。　She　is　mine　！　Yes，　Charlotte，　you
are　mine　for　ever　！

　　〃And　what　do　they　mean　by　saying　Albert　is　your　husband　？　He　may
be　so　for　this　world；　and　in　this　world　it　is　a　sin　to　love　you，　to
wish　to　tear　you　from　his　embrace。　Yes，　it　is　a　crime；　and　I　suffer
the　punishment，　but　I　have　enjoyed　the　full　delight　of　my　sin。　I　have
inhaled　a　balm　that　has　revived　my　soul。　From　this　hour　you　are　mine；
yes　，　Charlotte，　you　are　mine　！　I　go　before　you。　I　go　to　my　Father
and　to　your　Father。　I　will　pour　out　my　sorrows　before　him　，　and　he　will
give　me　fort　till　you　arrive。　Then　will　I　fly　to　meet　you。　I　will　claim
you　，　and　remain　your　eternal　embrace，　in　the　presence　of　the　Almighty。

　　〃I　do　not　dream　，　I　do　not　rave。　Drawing　nearer　to　the　grave　my　perceptions
bee　clearer。　We　shall　exist；　we　shall　see　each　other　again；　we　shall
behold　your　mother；　I　shall　behold　her　，　and　expose　to　her　my　inmost
heart。　Your　mother——　your　image　！〃

　　About　eleven　o'clock　Werther　asked　his　servant　if　Albert　had　returned。
He　answered　，　〃Yes　；〃　for　he　had　seen　him　pass　on　horseback　：　upon
which　Werther　sent　him　the　following　note　，　unsealed　：

　　〃Be　so　good　as　to　lend　me　your　pistols　for　a　journey。　Adieu。〃

　　Charlotte　had　slept　little　during　the　past　night。　All　her　apprehensions
were　realised　in　a　way　that　she　could　neither　foresee　nor　avoid。　Her　blood
was　boiling　in　her　veins，　and　a　thousand　painful　sensations　rent　her
pure　heart。　Was　it　the　ardour　of　Werther's　passionate　embraces　that　she
felt　within　her　bosom　？　Was　it　anger　at　his　daring　？　Was　it　the　sad
parison　of　her　present　condition　with　former　days　of　innocence　，　tranquillity，
and　self…confidence　？　How　could　she　approach　her　husband　，　and　confess
a　scene　which　she　had　no　reason　to　conceal，　and　which　she　yet　felt　，
nevertheless，　unwilling　to　avow？　They　had　preserved　so　long　a　silence
toward　each　other　and　should　she　be　the　first　to　break　it　by　so　unexpected
a　discovery　？　She　feared　that　the　mere　statement　of　Werther's　visit　would
trouble　him　，　and　his　distress　would　be　heightened　by　her　perfect　candour。
She　wished　that　he　could　see　her　in　her　true　light，　and　judge　her　without
prejudice　；　but　was　she　anxious　that　he　should　read　her　inmost　soul？
On　the　other　hand　，　could　she　deceive　a　being　to　whom　all　her　thoughts
had　ever　been　exposed　as　clearly　as　crystal　，　and　from　whom　no　sentiment
had　ever　been　concealed　？　These　reflections　made　her　anxious　and　thoughtful。
Her　mind　still　dwelt　on　Werther　，　who　was　now　lost　to　her，　but　whom
she　could　not　bring　herself　to　resign　，　and　for　whom　she　knew　nothing
was　left　but　despair　if　she　should　be　lost　to　him　for　ever。

　　A　recollection　of　that　mysterious　estrangement　which　had　lately　subsisted
between　herself　and　Albert，　and　which　she　could　never　thoroughly　understand，
was　now　beyond　measure　painful　to　her。　Even　the　prudent　and　the　good　have
before　now　hesitated　to　explain　their　mutual　differences，　and　have　dwelt
in　silence　upon　their　imaginary　grievances，　until　circumstances　have
bee　so　entangled　，　that　in　that　critical　juncture　，　when　a　calm　explanation
would　have　saved　all　parties，　an　understanding　was　impossible。　And　thus
if　domestic　confidence　had　been　earlier　established　between　them，　if
love　and　kind　forbearance　had　mutually　animated　and　expanded　their　hearts，
it　might　not，　perhaps，　even　yet　have　been　too　late　to　save　our　friend。

　　But　we　must　not　forget　one　remarkable　circumstance。　We　may　observe
from　the　character　of　Werther's　correspondence，　that　he　had　never　affected
to　conceal　his　anxious　desire　to　quit　this　world。　He　had　often　discussed
the　subject　with　Albert　；　and，　between　the　latter　and　Charlotte　，　it
had　not　unfrequently　formed　a　topic　of　conversation。　Albert　was　so　opposed
to　the　very　idea　of　such　an　action，　that　，　with　a　degree　of　irritation
unusual　in　him，　he　had　more　than　once　given　Werther　to　understand　that
he　doubted　the　seriousness　of　his　threats　，　and　not　only　turned　them
into　ridicule　，　but　caused　Charlotte　to　share　his　feelings　of　incredulity。
Her　heart　was　thus　tranquillised　when　she　felt　disposed　to　view　the　melancholy
subject　in　a　serious　point　of　view，　though　she　never　municated　to
her　husband　the　apprehensions　she　sometimes　experienced。

　　Albert，　upon　his　return，　was　received　by　Charlotte　with　ill…concealed
embarrassment。　He　was　himself　out　of　humour　；　his　business　was　unfinished
；　and　he　had　just　discovered　that　the　neighbouring　official　with　whom
he　had　to　deal，　was　an　obstinate　and　narrow…minded　personage。　Many　things
had　occurred　to　irritate　him。

　　He　inquired　whether　anything　had　happened　during　his　absence，　and
Charlotte　hastily　answered　that　Werther　had　been　there　on　the　evening
previously。　He　then　inquired　for　his　letters，　and　was　answered　that　several
packages　had　been　left　in　his　study。　He　thereon　retired　，　leaving　Charlotte
alone。

　　The　presence　of　the　being　she　loved　and　honoured　produced　a　new　impression
on　her　heart。　The　recollection　of　his　generosity，　kindness　，　and　affection
had　calmed　her　agitation：　a　secret　impulse　prompted　her　to　follow　him
；　she　took　her　work　and　went　to　his　study，　as　was　often　her　custom。
He　was　busily　employed　opening　and　reading　his　letters。　It　seemed　as　if
the　contents　of　some　were　disagreeable。　She　asked　some　questions：　he
gave　short　answers，　and　sat　down　to　write。

　　Several　hours　passed　in　this　manner　，　and　Charlotte's　feelings　became
more　and　more　melancholy。　She　felt　the　extreme　difficulty　of　explaining
to　her　husband，　under　any　circumstances，　the　weight　that　lay　upon　her
heart　；　and　her　depression　became　every　moment　greater　，　in　proportion
as　she　endeavoured　to　hide　her　grief，　and　to　conceal　her　tears。

　　The　arrival　of　Werther's　servant　occasioned　her　the　greatest　embarrassment。
He　gave　Albert　a　note　，　which　the　latter　coldly　handed　to　his　wife　，
saying，　at　the　same　time　，　〃Give　him　the　pistols。　I　wish　him　a　pleasant
journey　，〃　he　added，　turning　to　the　servant。　These　words　fell　upon　Charlotte
like　a　thunderstroke：　she　rose　from　her　seat　half…fainting　，　and　unconscious
of　what　she　did。　She　walked　mechanically　toward　t