白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第61章

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leave　her　alone。　Dana　was　getting　big　thick　novels　every　day；　writing　reviews　which　she　microfilmed　and　sent　to　a　secret　archive。　She　plained　of　jangled　nerves；　periods　of　deep　spiritual　fatigue。　She　told　Steffie　she　was　thinking　of　ing　in　from　the　cold。
　　In　the　morning　I　sped　out　to　Glassboro　to　take　the　further　tests　my　doctor　had　advised；　at　Autumn　Harvest　Farms。　The　seriousness　of　such　an　occasion　is　directly　proportionate　to　the　number　of　bodily　emissions　you　are　asked　to　cull　for　analysis。　I　carried　with　me　several　specimen　bottles；　each　containing　some　melancholy　waste　or　secretion。　Alone　in　the　glove　partment　rode　an　ominous　plastic　locket；　which　I'd　reverently　enclosed　in　three　interlocking　Baggies；　successively　twist…tied。　Here　was　a　daub　of　the　most　solemn　waste　of　all；　certain　to　be　looked　upon　by　the　technicians　on　duty　with　the　mingled　deference；　awe　and　dread　we　have　e　to　associate　with　exotic　religions　of　the　world。
　　But　first　I　had　to　find　the　place。　It　turned　out　to　be　a　functional　pale　brick　building；　one　story；　with　slab　floors　and　bright　lighting。　Why　would　such　a　place　be　called　Autumn　Harvest　Farms？　Was　this　an　attempt　to　balance　the　heartlessness　of　their　gleaming　precision　equipment？　Would　a　quaint　name　fool　us　into　thinking　we　live　in　pre…cancerous　times？　What　kind　of　condition　might　we　expect　to　have　diagnosed　in　a　facility　called　Autumn　Harvest　Farms？　Whooping　cough；　croup？　A　touch　of　the　grippe？　Familiar　old　farmhouse　miseries　calling　for　bed　rest；　a　deep　chest　massage　with　soothing　Vicks　VapoRub。　Would　someone　read　to　us　from　David　Copperfield？
　　I　had　misgivings。　They　took　my　samples　away；　sat　me　down　at　a　puter　console。　In　response　to　questions　on　the　screen　I　tapped　out　the　story　of　my　life　and　death；　little　by　little；　each　response　eliciting　further　questions　in　an　unforgiving　progression　of　sets　and　subsets。　I　lied　three　times。　They　gave　me　a　loose…fitting　garment　and　a　wristband　ID。　They　sent　me　down　narrow　corridors　for　measuring　and　weighing；　for　blood…testing；　brain…graphing；　the　recording　of　currents　traversing　my　heart。　They　scanned　and　probed　in　room　after　room；　each　cubicle　appearing　slightly　smaller　than　the　one　before　it；　more　harshly　lighted；　emptier　of　human　furnishings。　Always　a　new　technician。　Always　faceless　fellow　patients　in　the　mazelike　halls；　crossing　from　room　to　room；　identically　gowned。　No　one　said　hello。　They　attached　me　to　a　seesaw　device；　turned　me　upside　down　and　let　me　hang　for　sixty　seconds。　A　printout　emerged　from　a　device　nearby。　They　put　me　on　a　treadmill　and　told　me　to　run；　run。　Instruments　were　strapped　to　my　thighs；　electrodes　planted　on　my　chest。　They　inserted　me　in　an　imaging　block；　some　kind　of　puterized　scanner。　Someone　sat　typing　at　a　console；　transmitting　a　message　to　the　machine　that　would　make　my　body　transparent。　I　heard　magnetic　winds；　saw　flashes　of　northern　light。　People　crossed　the　hall　like　wandering　souls；　holding　their　urine　aloft　in　pale　beakers。　I　stood　in　a　room　the　size　of　a　closet。　They　told　me　to　hold　one　finger　in　front　of　my　face；　close　my　left　eye。　The　panel　slid　shut；　a　white　light　flashed。　They　were　trying　to　help　me；　to　save　me。
　　Eventually；　dressed　again；　I　sat　across　a　desk　from　a　nervous　young　man　in　a　white　smock。　He　studied　my　file；　mumbling　something　about　being　new　at　this。　I　was　surprised　to　find　that　this　fact　did　not　upset　me。　I　think　I　was　even　relieved。
　　〃How　long　before　the　results　are　in？〃
　　〃The　results　are　in；〃　he　said。
　　〃I　thought　we　were　here　for　a　general　discussion。　The　human　part。　What　the　machines　can't　detect。　In　two　or　three　days　the　actual　numbers　would　be　ready。〃　〃The　numbers　are　ready。〃
　　〃I'm　not　sure　I'm　ready。　All　those　gleaming　devices　are　a　little　unsettling。　I　could　easily　imagine　a　perfectly　healthy　person　being　made　ill　just　taking　these　tests。〃
　　〃Why　should　anyone　be　made　ill？　These　are　the　most　accurate　test　devices　anywhere。　We　have　sophisticated　puters　to　analyze　the　data。　This　equipment　saves　lives。　Believe　me；　I've　seen　it　happen。　We　have　equipment　that　works　better　than　the　latest　X…ray　machine　or　CAT　scanner。　We　can　see　more　deeply；　more　accurately。〃
　　He　seemed　to　be　gaining　confidence。　He　was　a　mild…eyed　fellow　with　a　poor　plexion　and　reminded　me　of　the　boys　at　the　supermarket　who　stand　at　the　end　of　the　checkout　counter　bagging　merchandise。
　　〃Here's　how　we　usually　start；〃　he　said。　〃I　ask　questions　based　on　the　printout　and　then　you　answer　to　the　best　of　your　ability。　When　we're　all　finished；　I　give　you　the　printout　in　a　sealed　envelope　and　you　take　it　to　your　doctor　for　a　paid　visit。〃
　　〃Good。〃
　　〃Good。　We　usually　start　by　asking　how　do　you　feel。〃
　　〃Based　on　the　printout？〃
　　〃Just　how　do　you　feel；〃　he　said　in　a　mild　voice。
　　〃In　my　own　mind；　in　real　terms；　I　feel　relatively　sound；　pending　confirmation。〃
　　〃We　usually　go　on　to　tired。　Have　you　recently　been　feeling　tired？〃
　　〃What　do　people　usually　say？〃
　　〃Mild　fatigue　is　a　popular　answer。〃
　　〃I　could　say　exactly　that　and　be　convinced　in　my　own　mind　it's　a　fair　and　accurate　description。〃
　　He　seemed　satisfied　with　the　reply　and　made　a　bold　notation　on　the　page　in　front　of　him。
　　〃What　about　appetite？〃　he　said。
　　〃I　could　go　either　way　on　that。〃
　　'That's　more　or　less　how　I　could　go；　based　on　the　printout。〃
　　〃In　other　words　you're　saying　sometimes　I　have　appetitive　reinforcement；　sometimes　I　don't。〃
　　〃Are　you　telling　me　or　asking　me？〃
　　〃It　depends　on　what　the　numbers　say。〃
　　〃Then　we　agree。〃
　　〃Good。〃
　　〃Good；〃　he　said。　〃Now　what　about　sleep？　We　usually　do　sleep　before　we　ask　the　person　if　they'd　like　some　decaf　or　tea。　We　don't　provide　sugar。〃
　　〃Do　you　get　a　lot　of　people　who　have　trouble　sleeping？〃
　　〃Only　in　the　last　stages。〃
　　〃The　last　stages　of　sleep？　Do　you　mean　they　wake　up　early　in　the　morning　and　can't　get　back　to　sleep？〃
　　'The　last　stages　of　life。〃
　　'That's　what　I　thought。　Good。　The　only　thing　I　have　is　some　low　threshold　animation。〃
　　〃Good。〃
　　〃I　get　a　little　restless。　Who　doesn't？〃
　　'Toss　and　turn？〃
　　'Toss；〃　I　said。
　　〃Good。〃
　　〃Good。〃
　　He　made　some　notes。　It　seemed　to　be　going　well。　I　was　heartened　to　see　how　well　it　was　going。　I　turned　down　his　offer　of　tea；　which　seemed　to　please　him。　We　were　moving　right　along。
　　〃Here's　where　we　ask　about　smoking。〃
　　'That's　easy。　The　answer　is　no。　And　it's　not　a　matter　of　having　stopped　five　or　ten　years　ago。　I've　never　smoked。　Even　when　I　was　a　teenager。　Never　tried　it。　Never　saw　the　need。〃
　　'That's　always　a　plus。〃
　　I　felt　tremendously　reassured　and　grateful。
　　〃We're　moving　right　along；　aren't　we？〃
　　〃Some　people　like　to　drag　it　out；〃　he　said。　'They　get　interested　in　their　own　condition。　It　bees　almost　like　a　hobby。〃
　　〃Who　needs　nicotine？　Not　only　that；　I　rarely　drink　coffee　and　certainly　never　with　caffeine。　Can't　understand　what　people　see　in　all　this　artificial　stimulation。　I　get　high　just　walking　in　the　woods。〃
　　〃No　caffeine　always　helps。〃
　　Yes；　I　thought。　Reward　my　virture。　Give　me　life。
　　〃Then　there's　milk；〃　I　said。　〃People　aren't　happy　with　the　caffeine　and　the　sugar。　They　want　the　milk　too。　All　those　fatty　acids。　Haven't　touched　milk　since　I　was　a　kid。　Haven't　touched　heavy　cream。　Eat　bland　foods。　Rarely　touch　hard　liquor。　Never　knew　what　the　fuss　was　all　about。　Water。　That's　my　beverage。　A　man　can　trust　a　glass　of　water。〃
　　I　waited　for　him　to　tell　me　I　was　adding　years　to　my　life。
　　〃Speaking　of　water；〃　he　said；　〃have　you　ever　been　exposed　to　industrial　contaminants？〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃Toxic　material　in　the　air　or　water。〃
　　〃Is　this　what　you　usually　ask　after　the　cigarettes？〃
　　〃It's　not　a　scheduled　question。〃
　　〃You　mean　do　I　work　with　a　substance　like　asbestos？　Absolutely　not。　I'm　a　teacher。　Teaching　is　my　life。　I've　spent　my　life　on　a　college　campus。　Where　does　asbestos　fit　into　this？〃
　　〃Have　you　ever　heard　of　Nyodene　Derivative？〃
　　〃Should　I　have；　based　on　the　printout？〃
　　〃There　are　traces　in　your　bloodstream。〃
　　〃How　can　that　be　if　I've　never　heard　of　it？〃
　　〃The　magnetic　scanner　says　it's　there。　I'm　looking　at　bracketed　numbers　with　little　stars。〃
　　〃Are　you　saying