白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第69章

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Babette；　having　to　kiss　a　scooped…out　face。
　　〃She　wore　the　ski　mask　so　as　not　to　kiss　my　face；　which　she　said　was　un…American。　I　told　her　a　room　is　inside。　Do　not　enter　a　room　not　agreeing　to　this。　This　is　the　point；　as　opposed　to　emerging　coastlines；　continental　plates。　Or　you　can　eat　natural　grains；　vegetables；　eggs；　no　fish；　no　fruit。　Or　fruit；　vegetables；　animal　proteins；　no　grains；　no　milk。　Or　lots　of　soybean　milk　for　B…12　and　lots　of　vegetables　to　regulate　insulin　release　but　no　meat；　no　fish；　no　fruit。　Or　white　meat　but　no　red　meat。　Or　B…12　but　no　eggs。　Or　eggs　but　no　grains。　There　are　endless　workable　binations。〃
　　I　was　ready　to　kill　him　now。　But　I　didn't　want　to　promise　the　plan。　The　plan　was　elaborate。　Drive　past　the　scene　several　times；　approach　the　motel　on　foot；　swivel　my　head　to　look　peripherally　into　rooms；　locate　Mr。　Gray　under　his　real　name；　enter　unannounced；　gain　his　confidence；　advance　gradually；　reduce　him　to　trembling；　wait　for　an　unguarded　moment；　take　out　the　。25…caliber　Zumwalt　automatic；　fire　three　bullets　into　his　viscera　for　maximum　slowness；　depth　and　intensity　of　pain；　wipe　the　weapon　clear　of　prints；　place　the　weapon　in　the　victim's　hand　to　suggest　the　trite　and　predictable　suicide　of　a　motel　recluse；　smear　crude　words　on　the　walls　in　the　victim's　own　blood　as　evidence　of　his　final　cult…related　frenzy；　take　his　supply　of　Dylar；　slip　back　to　the　car；　take　the　expressway　to　Blacksmith；　leave　Stover's　car　in　Treadwell's　garage；　shut　the　garage　door；　walk　home　in　the　rain　and　the　fog。
　　I　advanced　into　the　area　of　flickering　light；　out　of　the　shadows；　seeking　to　loom。　I　put　my　hand　in　my　pocket；　gripped　the　firearm。　Mink　watched　the　screen。　I　said　to　him　gently；　〃Hail　of　bullets。〃　Keeping　my　hand　in　my　pocket。
　　He　hit　the　floor；　began　crawling　toward　the　bathroom；　looking　back　over　his　shoulder；　childlike；　miming；　using　principles　of　heightened　design　but　showing　real　terror；　brilliant　cringing　fear。　I　followed　him　into　the　toilet；　passing　the　full…length　mirror　where　he'd　undoubtedly　posed　with　Babette；　his　shaggy　member　dangling　like　a　ruminant's。
　　〃Fusillade；〃　I　whispered。
　　He　tried　to　wriggle　behind　the　bowl；　both　arms　over　his　head；　his　legs　tight　together。　I　loomed　in　the　doorway；　conscious　of　looming；　seeing　myself　from　Mink's　viewpoint；　magnified；　threatening。　It　was　time　to　tell　him　who　I　was。　This　was　part　of　my　plan。　My　plan　was　this。　Tell　him　who　I　am；　let　him　know　the　reason　for　his　slow　and　agonizing　death。　I　revealed　my　name；　explained　my　relationship　with　the　woman　in　the　ski　mask。
　　He　put　his　hands　over　his　crotch；　tried　to　fit　himself　under　the　toilet　tank；　behind　the　bowl。　The　intensity　of　the　noise　in　the　room　was　the　same　at　all　frequencies。　Sound　all　around。　I　took　out　the　Zumwalt。　Great　and　nameless　emotions　thudded　on　my　chest。　I　knew　who　1　was　in　the　network　of　meanings。　Water　fell　to　earth　in　drops；　causing　surfaces　to　gleam。　I　saw　things　new。
　　Mink　took　one　hand　from　his　crotch；　grabbed　more　tablets　from　his　pocket；　hurled　them　toward　his　open　mouth。　His　face　appeared　at　the　end　of　the　white　room；　a　white　buzz；　the　inner　surface　of　a　sphere。　He　sat　up；　tearing　open　his　shirt　pocket　to　find　more　pills。　His　fear　was　beautiful。　He　said　to　me；　〃Did　you　ever　wonder　why；　out　of　thirty…two　teeth；　these　four　cause　so　much　trouble？　I'll　be　back　with　the　answer　in　a　minute。〃
　　I　fired　the　gun；　the　weapon；　the　pistol；　the　firearm；　the　automatic。　The　sound　snowballed　in　the　white　room；　adding　on　reflected　waves。　I　watched　blood　squirt　from　the　victim's　midsection。　A　delicate　arc。　I　marveled　at　the　rich　color；　sensed　the　color…causing　action　of　nonnucleated　cells。　The　flow　diminished　to　a　trickle；　spread　across　the　tile　floor。　I　saw　beyond　words。　I　knew　what　red　was；　saw　it　in　terms　of　dominant　wavelength；　luminance；　purity。　Mink's　pain　was　beautiful；　intense。
　　I　fired　a　second　shot　just　to　fire　it；　relive　the　experience；　hear　the　sonic　waves　layering　through　the　room；　feel　the　jolt　travel　up　my　arm。　The　bullet　struck　him　just　inside　the　right　hipbone。　A　claret　stain　appeared　on　his　shorts　and　shirt。　I　paused　to　notice　him。　He　sat　wedged　between　the　toilet　bowl　and　wall；　one　sandal　missing；　eyes　totally　white。　I　tried　to　see　myself　from　Mink's　viewpoint。　Looming；　dominant；　gaining　life…power；　storing　up　life…credit。　But　he　was　too　far　gone　to　have　a　viewpoint。
　　It　was　going　well。　I　was　pleased　to　see　how　well　it　was　going。　The　trucks　rumbled　overhead。　The　shower　curtain　smelled　of　mildewed　vinyl。　A　richness；　a　smashing　intensity。　I　approached　the　sitting　figure；　careful　not　to　step　in　blood；　leave　revealing　prints。　I　took　out　my　handkerchief；　wiped　the　weapon　clean；　placed　it　in　Mink's　hand；　cautiously　removing　the　handkerchief；　painstakingly　wrapping　his　bony　fingers；　one　by　one；　around　the　stock；　delicately　working　his　index　finger　through　the　trigger　guard。　He　was　foaming；　a　little；　at　the　mouth。　I　stepped　back　to　survey　the　remains　of　the　shattering　moment；　the　scene　of　squalid　violence　and　lonely　death　at　the　shadowy　fringes　of　society。　This　was　my　plan。　Step　back；　regard　the　squalor；　make　sure　things　were　correctly　placed。
　　Mink's　eyes　dropped　out　of　his　skull。　They　gleamed；　briefly。　He　raised　his　hand　and　pulled　the　trigger；　shooting　me　in　the　wrist。
　　The　world　collapsed　inward；　all　those　vivid　textures　and　connections　buried　in　mounds　of　ordinary　stuff。　I　was　disappointed。　Hurt；　stunned　and　disappointed。　What　had　happened　to　the　higher　plane　of　energy　in　which　I'd　carried　out　my　scheme？　The　pain　was　searing。　Blood　covered　my　forearm；　wrist　and　hand。　I　staggered　back；　moaning；　watching　blood　drip　from　the　tips　of　my　fingers。　I　was。　troubled　and　confused。　Colored　dots　appeared　at　the　edge　of　my　field　of　vision。　Familiar　little　dancing　specks。　The　extra　dimensions；　the　super　perceptions；　were　reduced　to　visual　clutter；　a　whirling　miscellany；　meaningless。
　　〃And　this　could　represent　the　leading　edge　of　some　warmer　air；〃　Mink　said。
　　I　looked　at　him。　Alive。　His　lap　a　puddle　of　blood。　With　the　restoration　of　the　normal　order　of　matter　and　sensation；　I　felt　I　was　seeing　him　for　the　first　time　as　a　person。　The　old　human　muddles　and　quirks　were　set　flowing　again。　passion；　remorse；　mercy。　But　before　I　could　help　Mink；　I　had　to　do　some　basic　repair　work　on　myself。　Once　again　I　took　out　my　handkerchief；　managed　with　my　right　hand　and　my　teeth　to　tie　it　firmly　just　above　the　bullet　hole　in　my　left　wrist；　or　between　the　wound　and　the　heart。　Then　I　sucked　at　the　wound　briefly；　not　knowing　quite　why；　and　spat　out　the　resulting　blood　and　pulp。　The　bullet　had　made　a　shallow　penetration　and　deflected　away。　Using　my　good　hand；　I　grabbed　Mink　by　his　bare　foot　and　dragged　him　across　the　blood…dappled　tile；　the　gun　still　clutched　in　his　fist。　There　was　something　redemptive　here。　Dragging　him　foot…first　across　the　tile；　across　the　medicated　carpet；　through　the　door　and　into　the　night。　Something　large　and　grand　and　scenic。　Is　it　better　to　mit　evil　and　attempt　to　balance　it　with　an　exalted　act　than　to　live　a　resolutely　neutral　life？　I　know　I　felt　virtuous；　I　felt　blood…stained　and　stately；　dragging　the　badly　wounded　man　through　the　dark　and　empty　street。
　　The　rain　had　stopped。　I　was　shocked　at　the　amount　of　blood　we　were　leaving　behind。　His；　mainly。　The　sidewalk　was　striped。　An　interesting　cultural　deposit。　He　reached　up　feebly；　dropped　more　Dylar　down　his　throat。　The　gun　hand　dragged。
　　We　reached　the　car。　Mink　kicked　free；　involuntarily；　his　body　flopping　and　spinning；　a　little　fishlike。　He　made　spent　and　gasping　noises；　short　of　oxygen。　I　decided　to　attempt　mouth…to…mouth。　I　leaned　over　him；　used　my　thumb　and　index　finger　to　clothes…pin　his　nose　and　then　tried　to　work　my　face　down　into　his。　The　awkwardness　and　grim　intimacy　of　the　act　made　it　seem　all　the　more　dignified　under　the　circumstances。　All　the　larger；　more　generous。　I　kept　trying　to　reach　his　mouth　in　order　to　breathe　powerful　gusts　of　air　into　his　lungs。　My　lips　were　gathered；　ready　to　funnel。　His　eyes　followed　me　down。　Perhaps　he　thought　he　was　about　to　be　kissed。　I　savored　the　irony。
　　His　mouth　was　awash　in　regurgitated　Dylar　foam；　half　chewed　tablets；　flyspeck　shards　of　polymer。　I