tg.stone of tears-第104章

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　But　Kahlan　had　wanted　it　on　him。　She　had　wanted　him　taken　away。　His　insides　twisted　with　that　pain。
　
　The　sword　was　the　only　thing　he　had　of　Zedd。　It　was　given　to　him　when　he　was　still　back　in　Westland；　when　he　was　home。　He　missed　his　home；　his　woods。　The　sword　was　the　only　thing　left　of　Zedd；　and　home。
　
　‘Sister；　I　was　named　Seeker；　and　given　this　sword；　for　as　long　as　I　wish　to　keep　it　and　be　Seeker。　I　will　be　the　one　to　decide　when　the　time　has　e　to　give　it　up。　If　you　wish　to　take　it　away　from　me；　then　try　to　do　it　now。
　
　‘If　you　try；　one　of　us　is　going　to　die　in　the　attempt。　At　the　moment；　I　don’t　much　care　which　one　of　us　it　is。　But　I　intend　to　fight　to　the　death。　It’s　mine　by　right；　and　you　are　not　taking　it　as　long　as　there　is　a　breath　of　life　in　me。’
　
　He　listened　to　the　distant　howl　of　an　animal　dying　a　sudden；　violent　death；　and　then　to　the　long；　empty　silence　that　followed。
　
　‘Since　you　were　given　the　sword；　and　did　not　simply　find　it；　or　purchase　it；　you　may　keep　it。　I　will　not　take　it　from　you。　I　cannot　speak　for　the　others；　but　I　will　try　to　see　to　your　wishes。　It　is　the　gift　we　must　tend　to。　It　is　that　magic　we　must　teach　you　to　control。’
　
　She　drew　herself　up　and　regarded　him　with　an　expression　of　such　cold　danger　it　made　him　have　to　fight　the　urge　to　shrink　back。　‘But　if　you　ever　again　draw　it　against　me；　I　will　make　you　me　the　day　the　Creator　let　you　take　your　first　breath。’　Her　jaw　muscles　tightened。　‘Do　we　understand　each　other？’
　
　‘What’s　so　important　about　me　that　you　would　kill　to　capture　me？’
　
　Her　cold　posure　was　more　frightening　than　if　she　had　yelled　at　him。　‘Our　job　is　to　help　those　with　the　gift；　because　the　gift　is　given　by　the　Creator。　We　serve　the　Creator。　It　is　for　him　we　die。　I’ve　lost　two　of　my　oldest　friends　because　of　you。　I’ve　wept　myself　to　sleep　with　grief　for　them。　I’ve　had　to　kill　this　woman　tonight；　and　I　may　have　to　kill　others　before　we　reach　the　palace。’
　
　Richard　had　the　feeling　it　would　be　best　to　keep　quiet；　but　he　couldn’t。　She　had　a　way　of　stirring　the　coals　of　his　anger　to　flame。　‘Don’t　try　to　assuage　your　guilt　over　what　you’ve　done　at　my　expense；　Sister。’
　
　Her　face　heated　with　color　that　he　could　see；　even　in　the　moonlight。　‘I’ve　tried　to　be　patient　with　you；　Richard。　I’ve　given　you　leeway　because　you’ve　been　pulled　from　the　only　life　you　have　known；　and　been　thrust　into　a　situation　you　fear　and　don’t　understand；　but　my　patience　is　near　its　end。
　
　‘I’ve　tried　my　best　not　to　see　the　lifeless　bodies　of　my　friends　when　I　look　into　your　eyes。　Or　when　you　tell　me　I’m　heartless。　I’ve　tried　not　to　think　about　you　being　the　one　standing　at　their　burial；　not　me；　and　about　the　things　I　would　have　said　over　their　fresh　graves。　There　are　things　going　on　that　are　beyond　my　understanding；　beyond　my　expectations；　beyond　what　I　was　led　to　believe。　Were　it　up　to　me；　I’m　of　a　mind　to　grant　you　your　wish　and　remove　your　Rada’Han；　and　let　you　die　in　madness　and　pain。
　
　‘But　it’s　not　up　to　me。　It　is　the　Creator’s　work　I　do。’
　
　Although　the　hot　coals　of　his　temper　hadn’t　been　doused；　they　had　cooled。　‘Sister　Verna；　I’m　sorry。’　He　wished　she　would　scream　at　him。　That　would　be　better　than　her　calm　anger；　her　quiet　displeasure。
　
　‘You　are　angered　because　you　think　I　treat　you　as　a　child；　and　not　as　a　man；　and　yet　you　have　given　me　no　reason　to　do　otherwise。　I　know　where　you　stand；　in　your　abilities；　and　where　you　have　yet　to　travel。　In　that　journey　you　are　no　more　than　a　babe　who　bawls　to　be　turned　loose　in　the　world；　yet　cannot　even　walk。
　
　The　collar　you　wear　is　capable　of　controlling　you。　It　is　also　capable　of　giving　you　pain。　Great　pain。　Up　until　now；　I　have　avoided　using　it；　and　have　tried　instead　to　encourage　you　in　other　ways　to　accept　what　must　be　done。　But　if　I　have　to；　I　will　use　it。　The　Creator　knows　I’ve　tried　everything　else。
　
　‘We　will　soon　be　in　a　land　much　more　dangerous　than　this。　We　will　have　to　deal　with　the　people　there　to　get　through。　The　Sisters　have　arrangements　with　them；　to　be　allowed　to　pass。　You　will　do　as　I　tell　you；　as　they　tell　you。　You　will　do　the　things　you　are　told；　or　there　will　be　a　great　deal　of　trouble。’
　
　Richard’s　suspicion　flared　anew。　‘What　things？’
　
　She　glared　at　him。　‘Do　not　test　me　further　tonight；　Richard。’
　
　‘As　long　as　you　understand　you’re　not　getting　my　sword　without　a　fight。’
　
　‘We　are　only　trying　to　help　you；　Richard；　but　if　you　draw　a　weapon　on　me　again；　I　will　see　to　it　you　greatly　regret　it。’　She　glanced　to　the　Agiel　hanging　at　his　neck。　‘Mord…Sith　hold　no　monopoly　in　giving　pain。’
　
　Cold　confirmation　of　his　suspicions　spread　through　his　gut。　They　intended　to　train　him　the　way　a　Mord…Sith　trained　him。　That　was　the　real　reason　for　the　collar。　That　was　how　they　intended　to　teach　him：　with　pain。　For　the　first　time；　he　felt　as　if　she　had　inadvertently　let　him　see　the　bones　of　her　intentions。
　
　She　pulled　the　little　book　from　her　belt。　‘I　have　some　work　to　do　before　we　leave。　Go　bury　her。　And　hide　her　body　well；　if　it’s　found；　it　will　tell　them　what　happened；　and　they　will　be　after　us；　and　then　I　will　have　killed　for　nothing。’
　
　She　sat　in　front　of　the　cold　jumble　of　firewood。　With　a　smooth　sweep　of　her　hand　over　the　dark　coals；　it　burst　into　flame。　After　you’ve　buried　her；　I　want　you　to　go　for　a　walk　and　let　your　temper　cool。　Do　not　return　until　it　has　done　so。　If　you　try　to　wander　away；　or　if　you　don’t　bring　some　reason　into　that　thick　head　of　yours　by　the　time　I’m　ready　to　leave；　I　will　bring　you　back　by　the　collar。’　She　gave　him　a　menacing　look　from　under　her　eyebrows。　‘You　will　not　like　it　if　I　have　to　do　that。　I　promise　you；　you　will　not　like　it　one　bit。’
　
　
　The　dead　woman　was　slight；　and　little　burden　to　carry。　He　hardly　noticed　the　weight　as　he　walked　away　from　the　camp　into　the　low；　rocky　hills。　The　moon　was　up　and　the　way　easy　to　see。　His　mind　swirled　with　his　brooding　thoughts　as　he　trudged　along；　kicking　an　occasional　stone。
　
　Richard　was　surprised　at　his　pang　of　pain　for　Sister　Verna。　She　had　never　before　revealed　how　heartsick　she　was　over　the　deaths　of　Sisters　Grace　and　Elizabeth。　He　had　thought　that　because　she　hadn’t　said　anything；　she　was　callous。　He　felt　sorry　for　her　now；　sorry　for　her　anguish。　He　wished　she　hadn’t　let　him　know。　It　was　easier　to　rail　against　his　situation　when　he　thought　she　was　heartless。
　
　He　found　himself　a　long　way　from　their　camp；　at　the　crest　of　a　hump　of　ground；　with　rocky　walls　and　spires　rising　around　him。　His　mind　came　out　of　his　twisting　thoughts　and　returned　to　the　body　he　carried　on　his　back。　Though　the　stab　wound　from　the　dacra　might　not　have　been　what　had　killed　her；　blood　had　nonetheless　seeped　down　her　back；　matting　her　hair　and　soaking　his　shoulder。　He　felt　sudden　revulsion　at　carrying　a　dead　woman　around　on　his　back。
　
　He　laid　the　body　gently　on　the　rocky　ground　and　looked　about；　searching　for　a　place　to　lay　her　to　rest。　He　had　a　small　shovel　hooked　to　his　belt；　but　there　didn’t　look　to　be　easy　digging　anywhere。　Maybe　he　could　wall　her　up　in　one　of　the　rocky　crags。
　
　While　he　peered　into　the　shadowed　gullies；　he　absently　rubbed　the　still　sore　burn　on　his　chest。　Nissel；　the　healer；　had　given　him　a　poultice；　and　every　day　he　spread　it　on　before　covering　the　wound　once　more　with　a　bandage。　He　didn’t　like　looking　at　it。　He　didn’t　like　seeing　the　scar　of　a　handprint　burned　into　his　flesh。
　
　Sister　Verna　had　said　it　could　have　been　that　he　had　burned　himself　in　the　fireplace　in　the　spirit　house；　or　that　they　might　have　indeed　called　forth　the　dark　minions　of　the　Nameless　One。　It　obviously　wasn’t　a　burn　from　the　fire；　it　was　the　mark　of　the　underworld。　Of　Darken　Rani。
　
　He　was　somehow　ashamed　of　it；　and　never　let　Sister　Verna　see　it。　The　scar　was　a　constant　reminder　of　his　father’s　true　identity。　It　seemed　an　affront　to　George　Cypher；　the　man　he　thought　of　as　his　father；　the　man　who　had　raised　him；　trusted　and　taught　him；　given　him　his　love；　and　whom　he　had　loved　in　return。
　
　The　mark　was　also　a　constant　reminder　of　the　monster　he　really　was　…　the　monster　Kahlan　had　wanted